Andy Blackford was born in Middlesbrough, on the banks of the majestic River Tees.

He wangled an interview at Oxford and crept in under cover of darkness.

There, during one remarkable weekend, he discovered drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and sex (in that order). It is a minor miracle that he was eventually awarded a degree.

Blackford then rattled through a series of worthless careers – rock guitarist, music publisher, journalist, skateboarder – before sliding inexorably into the sump of advertising.

He still expects every day to be impossibly exciting and is disappointed when it isn’t.

He lives in an old house with two women and a cat.